Many (and I mean, many) of my female clients hold onto old disappointments, betrayals, and angers from past relationships – and take these feelings out on the next man they get into a relationship with.
(If you’ve ever wondered why you seem to keep having ‘the same relationship’ over and over again, this is a HUGE part of the reason why: re-running those old, habitual reactions tends to create similar, unwanted results – even when it’s with a different man every time.)
So, here’s my challenge to you right now:
Take ten minutes and, using your private journal, jot down as many ideas, attitudes, and beliefs as you can about love, men, and commitment that feel like “reality” inside your heart.
This is a free-form brain dump: I don’t want you to agonize over the right wording or spend time fretting over whether to include a particular thought or not; just grab your pencil (or your phone, whatever works) and get going.
For instance …
- What kinds of attitudes and beliefs about men and love have you absorbed from family members and friends?
- What beliefs and fears have you picked up from movies, novels, magazines, and social media?
- What protective or fear-based decisions has a younger version of you made during previous painful experiences?
To get you going, here are some sample responses from previous clients of mine who’ve performed this thought exercise:
- ‘Being single is hard’
- ‘I’m lonely when I don’t have a boyfriend’
- ‘Real love is hard to find’
- ‘I can’t trust anyone with my heart’
- ‘He’ll probably cheat on me’
- ‘I should always wait for a man to make the first move’
- ‘if I have sex on the first date, he’ll think I’m easy’
When you’re done jotting ideas down, I want you to go back over the answers you gave and, for each one in turn, answer the following questions:
- How much time has passed since you adopted this belief?
- Is believing this thing giving you the results you want most?
- How interested are you in ditching these old beliefs and winning back personal power over your own life (and the love that shows up in it)?
If you really want to Make Him Worship You, the very first step (and the most important – truly) is to bring awareness to those old automatic responses your mind’s supplying you with.
Just like the autocorrect function on your phone, your mind will try to trick you with information that may no longer be serving you – information that might have helped you once, but is now outdated and holding you back.
The goal here isn’t to judge yourself or laugh at previous beliefs. It’s simply to bring awareness to the old ideas you might be holding onto – ideas that are very likely actively limiting the possibilities ahead in your future and preventing you from attaining true connection and joy in your relationships.
