There are 3 words a man will say to a woman he believes is “The One” that he will not say to women he doesn’t feel are worth it.
In fact, if you hear a man say these 3 words to you it means you can truly relax because the very act of saying them proves he adores you… worships you… will fight for you… and wants you to be his special one.
What are these 3 words?
Well, they’re not “I love you,” that’s for sure…
“What? But I’ve been waiting for him to say ‘I love you’ for a month and he finally said it! Why are you ruining this for me, Mike!?”
As you probably already suspected, depending on the context, a man saying “I love you” doesn’t actually mean much at all.
Because most men, honestly, don’t really know what the word “love” means. At least not in the same way you do…
There are lots of ways a man says, “I love you.” He says it to his mom…. to his aunt… and for crying out loud, he probably says “I love you” to his dog or cat. (high-five if you’ve found yourself a cat man, btw.)
“I love you” is a phrase that gets a lot of hype in the relationship world, but it can mean so many things. Just having a man say it doesn’t mean he’s committed to you, or that you’re the one…yet.
Guys can say “I love you” for any of the following reasons:
- I’m caught up in the moment and it slipped out! (other examples: “I love this song!”, “I love your boobs”, “I love beer”, or even “I love you, man!”
- I really like you a lot right now… but I don’t have a word for that, so I’m saying “love”.
- I was raised on rom-coms and my lizard-brain tells me women like to hear this. I want you to be happy, or to have sex with me, so I’m going to say it.
So, enjoy it when a guy says it, but just know he might not mean it in the same aching, passionate, committed, romantic way you think he does.
There Are Better Phrases
There are, in fact, several three-word phrases that prove a man’s undying love for you… but before I reveal them, let’s review what love means to a man.
Remember, in Module 4 Lesson 2, I identified the three Love systems, which are Lust, Attraction, and Attachment. If you skipped that section for any reason, I encourage you to go back and read it, because it outlines some primal male instincts that will ground you for what I’m about to say next.
Naturally, Lust is a great love system, and you want your man to feel lust for you at all times. Who doesn’t love endorphin injection afterglow, right?
But, since you’re enrolled in the Make Him Worship You program, we want to focus on the Attachment level of love.
When your man uses the 3 words from the Attachment love system, that means he’s with you for the long haul. Ooooh, that sort of sounds like love is a chore, doesn’t it? But let’s keep it. Because a real and long-lasting relationship is hard fucking work.
I’d categorize a simple “I love you” in the Lust or Attraction category. Because when he says, “I love you,” he might be thinking, “I love being inside you.” If he loves having sex with you, that’s pretty awesome. But loving sex with you is a far cry from being in love with you. And as I said, people throw around the words “I love you” pretty liberally.
It’s nice to hear, “I love you,” but you’re nowhere near the level of commitment (the reason you purchased this program) that you want…yet.
There are, in fact, MANY sets of 3 words that apply to that most-desirable Attachment love system, which I’ll share with you here in a minute. But first, let’s unpack 3 words as they apply to the Lust and Attraction love systems. This will help you figure out where you’re at on this journey.
Lust/Attraction Love System Indicators (Good)
“I love you”
I already told you why “I love you” likely isn’t the phrase we’re looking for!
“You are beautiful”
Of course, there are different levels of “beautiful”, but if your man says, “You are beautiful,” he’s probably talking about superficial beauty. There’s a 99.9991% chance that he’s not thinking about your “inner beauty.” Now, context matters here too – which I’ll talk about in a bit.
If he’s staring you in the eyes after you’ve just said something profound or heartfelt, “You are Beautiful” might mean quite a lot more. Cue butterflies.
“I’ll never hurt you”
Okay, this is four words, but I need to include them here as a WARNING! Because these 4 words are TAUGHT to every hustler and frat-boy as THE thing to tell a girl who’s on the fence about having sex. These four words are guaranteed “panty-droppers,” and if a man says these words to you, he’s either lying or totally naive.
Now if you only want sex then that’s totally fine, high five for you! But be aware that “I’ll never hurt you” is another way of saying, “Please don’t be scared of me.” It’s an effort (conscious or subconscious) to get you to let your guard down.
Now, he might actually mean “I’ll never hurt you” when he says it. Nobody wants to hurt anyone. But they will still inevitably do it when they decide to end the relationship. In fact, fear of hurting someone is often the lame reason people stay in miserable relationships.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of “I’ll never hurt you,” ask yourself, “How is it possible to be in a relationship and NOT hurt someone occasionally, even inadvertently? Who would say something like this?” Yeah, this phrase, while nice to hear, is inherently impossible to achieve in the real world.
“This is real” or “This feels real”
No, this isn’t real, it’s projection. “This is real,” means he’s trying to figure out if “this is real” or not. You’re so close to hearing the RIGHT three words. But you’re not there yet! Also, in my own relationship history, I’ve only ever said, “this is real” in post-coitus cuddling (afterglow) with [checks notes…] Placeholders.
Attachment Love Indicators (Better)
Here are some 3-word attachment phrases you’ll want to keep an eye out for. These are the highest jackpot-level phrases men only say when they are really really into you. These words mean more than simple “Lust” words above. If you hear these, you are well on your way to a deeper connection
“I’ve got you” (also “I support you” or “I’ve got your back”)
Awww, sweet! Now we are getting somewhere! How does it feel to know that your man is there for you, no matter what challenge you face? Want to ask your boss for a promotion and you feel insecure about when or how to ask? “Don’t worry babe, I support you, whatever you decide.”
He’s saying he’s got your back. And, he’s going to be there for you. You may recall in Chapter 2 Module 1 that “I’ve got your back” is a magical 4-word phrase to say to guys too.
“We’ve got this”
This is the upgraded supercharged version of “I’ve got you”. I personally really like this one, because it signals that you’re doing something together. You’re on a team. He’s going to walk through the fire with you, arm in arm, and he won’t let go.
“Talk to me”
Usually a man uses the phrase “Talk to me” when he thinks there’s something bothering you. “Talk to me” means more than, “I want to know what’s bothering you.” It means, “I’m listening, and I’m going to do everything I can to use my manly biceps and slay the dragon to ease your fears. Nobody messes with my woman.”
“What do you think?” (sorry, 4 words!)
RESPECT. It ain’t just an Aretha song, it is something that you need in an equal relationship. When your man says, “What do you think?” he wants your opinion. He wants to know how you feel, and he’s ready to listen with an open mind, because YOUR INPUT is now part of his process. Powerful.
“I trust you”
Yes, baby. Very few people actually trust someone enough to use the T word out loud. In fact, if he says, “I trust you,” it’s likely that someone in his past seriously violated his trust, enough for him to think about whether or not he trusts you.
So when he says, “I trust you,” then he really does trust you. It means, “I know who you are at your core, and I like it.”
A Quick Word about Context
I was talking to a female friend of mine about guys saying “I love you” and how we don’t mean it the same way women do and she said, “Yeah, Mike, but what if he does really love her? It’s not like it’s a red flag!”
She’s right. Context matters. If a guy says something like, “I love you” or “I’ll never hurt you” does it mean he’s trying to manipulate you? You have to ask yourself:
- Does he have a pattern of saying what he means and meaning what he says?
- Do I really know and trust him? Or do I just want him to love me?
- Is it just before or after we had sex? Nobody’s thinking straight at that point.
Guys should earn your trust over time. So, if he’s demonstrated that the stuff he says comes from the heart, I say enjoy “I think you’re beautiful” moments. Just know there are phrases that mean more.
How to Get Your Man to Actually Use These
Now that you know where these words fit into this whole thing, let’s talk about how you can use some of the tools from the Make Him Worship You system to stealthily train and coax him to use these words.
I mean, you can’t just wait around for a guy to start dropping these little love bombs all on his own. He’ll need a nudge (or two).
In Module 2, Lesson 1, I revealed the four heart-opener words that can open a world of intimacy and trust between you and your man. Probably the most important takeaway from that lesson, and the whole program, is that you need to find an opening and go first. But it might be hard to find an opening, in which case you’ll need to create that opening.
Here’s How…
Think of a situation that you need help with. Maybe it’s handling a workplace conflict or a personal goal like running a marathon. Pick one and talk about it with him. “Hey, I’m thinking about _____ and I want your advice on how to ______.” Right there, you’ve opened the door. I mean, you opened a really big door, and all he has to do is step through it. And all you have to do is listen, because if he is truly committed to you and deeply in love, you’ll hear some of these Attachment Love Indicator phrases.
It’s important not to come off as whiny or overly needy because this could scare him away. Pay attention to his body language. Notice whether he sits up straight and makes eye contact.
When using this technique, remember to reinforce your question with a touch to the bicep or the Kiss of the Fingernails, or any of the physical techniques from Module 5: Next Level Sex and Intimacy.
Lastly, this is not a “one and done” strategy. Like everything else in this program, this is a lather, rinse and repeat strategy that you need to deploy often if you want to get the long-term results that we promise.
